Cowardice, bravery and compassion. A poignant reminder.....London - July 2005.

About a year ago, I was approached by the BBC to take part in a four part documentary telling the story of the tragic events of July 2005 in London.

After having my fingers burned by the media on several occasions during my time as a police officer, I was cautious and reticent so arranged to meet one of the producers, Jim Nally in London before I made any sort of commitment to appearing on the programme.

As a former firearms officer and proud ex peeler I reflect on an 18 year firearms career with real positivity. I was lucky to work alongside so many consummate professionals in such a high pressured and challenging environment. Our story is rarely heard as circumstances often dictate anonymity.

I think the view of the public is often that firearms officers are simply police officers who are given guns. Reality is that this opinion is far from the truth. The training and operational experience combined with the character, mindset and personality of our specialist firearms officers is something we should be proud of and thankful for. Sadly it is always the very rare occasions when shots are fired by police that seem to be jettisoned into our newsfeeds searching for a scapegoat.

I was pleased that an anti-police narrative was not evident when I met Jim and his team, reassured that this was a factual account from those who were involved in those traumatic events across three weeks back in July 2005. Having now watched all four episodes of the BBC documentary, it was a compelling reminder of the very best and the very worst of humanity.

I sat in the interview chair in a cold warehouse over in Alperton for several hours. Whilst my recollections and subsequent account in episodes 3 and 4 brought back many personal memories of the whole period and particularly the tough events of 22nd, it was the powerful and often harrowing accounts in episodes 1 and 2 that reminded me of the response and incredible bravery of people who began 7th July dreaming of a home Olympics, and ended it with life changing cognitive and physical scars. Also a timely reminder to remember those poor souls who lost their lives on that fateful day and also the friends and family of Jean Charles De Menezes. I haven’t met the family, but they are often in my thoughts I feel so so sad for them. I struggle to comprehend what it must be like to lose a son in such circumstances. I don’t know what I’d be able to say that would make the situation any easier for them. A terrible tragedy where a complex and unique catalogue of events contributed to such an awful outcome, but their loss is never forgotten.

The palpable feeling of fear on our transport system through that period is impossible to replicate, the way that the London community came together is a stark reminder of what we can achieve together as human beings. It feels a long way away from the divisive culture that seems evident on our streets today.

I often talk openly of the events in the tube that day (22nd).

I remain in touch with many of my former CO19 colleagues, they are some of the most professional men and women I have been fortunate to work alongside in a 40 year career on high performing teams.

These include the two principal officers who were in the carriage on 22nd July. For the other team members that day, London's biggest manhunt continued, it isn't common knowledge, but the majority of team involved at Stockwell were employed on subsequent operations to detain the bombers. It says much about the resilience of the specialist firearms officers who were deployed across that period.

The public never see the human side of the role as a firearms officer. We are all human beings with the same emotions, the same feelings. We experience trauma like everyone else and many need the requisite care and support, often from peers and colleagues. There is very much a sense of family amongst the police firearms family.

I am also often asked why I talk openly open about those times.

My head was above the parapet in the media following an article in the run up to the London Olympics. I’ve always been very open and honest about my peripheral role in the incident, this includes my colleagues at GB Hockey and the British Olympic Association. I was unable to travel with our Olympic Mens hockey team to the Rio Olympics, a correct decision at the time, but personally very frustrating.

The events of July 2005 were unprecedented. Along with the rest of the emergency services we were doing our very best to protect the public, running towards danger not away from it. I fully understood the sensitivity in Brazil following the tragic events of 22nd July and agree that it was probably the right decision not to travel to Rio. I feel very strongly that the response to these sorts of events needs to be restorative. In other words an approach that seeks to ensure that this sort of incident doesn't happen again. My mindset has always been how can I use the experience of this tragic incident to learn and support others. There are so many lessons that can be learned about how teams and organisations operate, not just in firearms operations.

I'd highly recommend 7/7 The London Bombings. It is available on BBC Iplayer.